Everything you’ve ever wanted is just on the other side of discomfort. If you live in a realm where you are waiting on the acceptance of anything or anyone then you are no longer at the forefront of Time & Space. You are existing in time with the rest of us but you are not choosing to face time head on, you are allowing others to dictate if you may proceed or not. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Live as if you are the spearhead of time's arrow. You will be rewarded.
The journey towards genuine self expression does not start with you. The journey begins with your influences, your environment, your mental state and development in childhood and adolescence. I once heard someone say you spend your 20s figuring out what you don't want to do so you can spend your 30s figuring out what you do want to do so that you can spend your 40s mastering the thing you are most drawn to. Career was the original context of that statement but in the modern world it is mandatory that we apply that sentiment to our entire lives. Not the strict timeline but the idea of searching and letting go of the things and people that no longer serve us. We MUST let these things and people go in order to free up enough space to intentionally pursue alternate avenues.
I recently listened to a book called “The Midnight Library” by Matt Haig which details a woman's journey both in her current existence as well as in all of the existences she could have experienced. All of the lefts and rights, yeses and nos we did or didn't take lead us to a completely different reality than if we had done something just slightly different. Made a different choice.
Arapahoe Basin Nature Induced Smiles
Recently I admitted to myself that I have anxiety, well not that I have anxiety specifically, we all have anxiety, but that I am an anxious person. My operating system, molded by every experience that came before this keystroke, if left unchecked defaults to planning and pleasing. A plan is a safe prediction of the future and keeping people happy is a great way to keep them not mad (at you for existing). To feel accepted on this earth can come from external sources but it certainly does not have to. It's actually crucial that one learns how to accept themselves without the influence of others. Friends, family, relationships and colleagues can all be great sources of positive (or negative) reinforcement. Putting your self worth in the hands of others is extremely risky and forces one into a reactive not proactive lifestyle. Waiting to be accepted before moving forward is like waiting for permission to live.
All the humans who’ve ever graced this earth were fundamentally no different than any other humans. All of the humans who have ever existed are exactly the same in some sense. Think about when you see a wild animal like a deer or a monkey, you don't recognize it as an individual, you recognize it as a species. The same can be said for humans if you look at our timeline of existence. Brad Pitt is 0% more special than an unknown homosapien caveman, our brains just put him in a special category because of external influence such as a billboard or a movie. And you as a human being are 0% different than both the Homosapien Caveman and Brad Pitt. That isn't meant to depress you, quite the opposite actually. Humans do inherently start at different points on the spectrum, where you are born, the circumstances in which you were born into can absolutely set you on a trajectory that is different from your fellow man.
Golden Gate Canyon State Park Nature Induced Smiles
Today, the very day you are reading this, there were two people who were born, one was born into a family who hasn’t had to worry about money in over 100 years due to the opportunities of their ancestors. And there was one who was born into a family that doesn't know where their next sip of clean water will come from. That is very real. This thought experiment is not about who ends up in a Ferrari and who ends up starving to death, it is about being present. It is about living in the moment and not for permission to be involved in the moment.
The hope of hydration
Through solo hunting I have, somewhat unintentionally, forced myself into circumstances where I literally didn't know where my next sip of water was coming from. At a separate point in time I was also the recipient of a debt free 6 figure education due to the generosity of my family. The truth of both of those circumstances is that finding a stream where I could filter water that day felt infinitely better than receiving my college diploma. Why is that? Because school stinks and hunting is fun? Sure but let's go deeper. It's because in the college setting I was on a path that yes I chose but didn't get to choose what the route looked like.
A grainy photo from my graduation from UMD*
I didnt technically graduate until 18 months after this was taken. Darn Organic Chemistry Requirement
At 17 years old I signed up for a college Major and then spent the next 6 years of my life (yes I was in college for 11 semesters) attempting to get to the finish line (a diploma). At 31 I found myself 7 miles into the backcountry of Colorado’s wilderness with a decision to make. Do I retrace my steps for several hours uphill to get to a source of known water (my vehicle) or do I trust that water runs down hill and drop into the valley below exhausted with nothing but an empty water bottle and some hope? Trusting your intuition is a powerful feeling, at times it can even be magical.
Turns out water does flow downhill
Everything you’ve ever wanted is just on the other side of discomfort. If you live in a realm where you are waiting on the acceptance of anything or anyone than you are no longer at the forefront of Time & Space. You are existing in time with the rest of us but you are not choosing to face time head on, you are allowing others to dictate if you may proceed or not. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Live as if you are the spearhead of times arrow. You will be rewarded.
What are you?
A human being.
Who are you?
The choice is yours.