“Comparison in the thief of joy”

The frustrating part about attempting to be mindful is that you never get a break. Anyone who has been observing the world around them can recognize that life is but a swinging pendulum both personally and societally. A pendulum often comes close to center equilibrium but never actually stops perfectly in the middle. Whether it be the shifts of the cultural winds or that of our own personal efforts we are in constant flux ever striving for growth and understanding.

It took me 28 years and some serious assisted introspection to understand that human beings not only can, but do often experience multiple emotions at a time. We can have both positive and negative things going on in our lives, sometimes unrelated to one another, like going through a breakup and having a good job. Or being on vacation but having an ill loved one on our minds.

As I sit with these ideas in a state of deep reflection I realized that we can also have a duality of perspective about the exact same event in our lives! We can simultaneously be proud of ourselves for recognizing a point of growth while also gaining a fuller understanding of how far we have to go. Sometimes a period of personal growth also shines a light on the things or relationships we need to let go of.

There are personal accomplishments and milestones which may bring us deep satisfaction while also bringing our attention to the things that we no longer have room for … a thing we need to release.

“Comparison is the thief of joy” - Is often attributed to Teddy Roosevelt, but I can't find the original use of the phrase. When we compare ourselves to others it can be a useful measuring stick, it can also be a ruler that is out of calibration. Comparing yourself to any other version of your past self can be a much more productive tool in the pursuit of life. For me personally I’ve found that a dual minded nature can serve as a useful approach. Comparing myself to my former self while simultaneously looking to those who’ve accomplished before me in order to gain an awareness of where the road may lead.

I used to operate with a constant hum of negative self speaking thinking that it would help me move closer towards my goals, I have evolved that hum to understand that I can be proud of my accomplishments while knowing where I still need to grow and am learning to live in that space. The space between … the middle of it.

As human beings, the beginning is a moment and the finale is a moment and the middle is the ENTIRE piece in between. These are not segments broken into thirds or even more fractional parts. There are two moments and then there is existence.

We need to be gentle with ourselves while caring about our neighbors while keeping our best interest in mind and encouraging selfless behavior. Dual minded indeed.

We're not required to be superheroes and narcissism is a nasty trait. The teeter-totter between selfless and selfish is a never-ending game of balance. A game of balance in which our mirror image is sitting on the other side.

Joy and sorrow are not two events, they are one entity being experienced on a spectrum.

You can love and care and be mad as hell and all of that is completely acceptable human behavior. When we have food, clothes and shelter we also have the liberty and burden of free thought. Our minds can wander aimlessly through our past reflecting the weight of the present moment into the future.

Now is not forever and forever is not guaranteed so stop for a moment and feel the support of the world underneath you because from your inception it has never stopped holding you up.

I recognize that this article does not dive deep into examples and statistics and that has been done with purpose. It is okay to just be … in the middle of it.